Memory Time

Hello Friends,

In closing the last entry, I alluded to coming stories of Brian's "Big Day." However, I just haven't assembled the pictorial accompaniment to that story as yet...so please allow me this interim entry.

During the three years, three months and 16 days between Wendy's birthday and Brian's birthday; there were lots of interesting events. Perhaps I can recount just a few things for you to be reminded of this incredible woman.

Shortly after Wendy was born, Trudy returned to her job as a billingclerk at the Atlas Refinery. Before returning to work, Trudy had been determinedly seeking out a child-care provider that would be suitable. Someone had recommended an elderly lady, Mrs. Palmer, as a person of impeccable character that only kept one or two children at a time. Trudy called her and she was available and would meet with us. Trudy was a little hesitant after she got off the phone, for she discovered that Mrs. Palmer was 89 years old, and she had some concerns about her being able to stand up to the physical demands of caring for our baby girl. But, she decided to go ahead with the meeting. I was unable to make the meeting but fully expected that I would find that the search for Wendy's care-giver would have to continue. However, Trudy came away from their meeting fully confident in Mrs. Palmer...a wiry and energetic near ninety year old dynamo. Indeed, Mrs. Palmer took care of Wendy for several years and then added Brian into the mix as a 92 year old child care-giver! Mrs. Palmer was a heaven-sent miracle for our family.

In my last entry, I mentioned Trudy's godly submissiveness. No "door mat" mind you, just a woman who was willing to take God at His word...in all matters. In short order after Wendy was born, I graduated from LSU-Shreveport, and worked for almost a year with KCOZ Radio before taking a great position with American Air Filter Company. During the time with the Radio station, I called on a business that did repair work on boats. The owner was a friend of ours from our church that had recently taken on this business. I discovered that he was working on a very interesting project...a 120 hp I/O ski boat. He had been going through that boat from stem to stern with a complete refurbishing job and was about to complete the job and put the boat up for sale. I showed interest and so he made me a great proposition to consider. Well, I liked the boat and I liked the deal...and I figured out how Trudy and I could work our budget around to make the purchase. All I had to do was convince Trudy! She listened to my plan and seemed modestly open to the idea, so I arranged a trial run at Cross Lake in Shreveport. We met the owner there and got in the boat and ran it through the paces. It was perfect! I was so eager I almost missed something...I needed to come aside with Trudy and have one final meeting of the minds. But, the owner picked up on that matter and suggested that Trudy and I take one more spin, stop somewhere on the lake to talk and make sure we were ready to make this purchase. I was already visualizing my ownership of the boat...where I would park her, how often we would take her out, etc. But when I looked Trudy in the eyes (yeah, those eyes again) I could tell something wasn't settled deep in there. I urged her to tell me what she was thinking. Here's something close to what she said: "Robert, I'm trusting God to lead me through you. So if you know that God wants us to have this boat, then by all means, let's get it." Well now, of all things...she had to go and get spiritual about buying me...I mean "US" a new toy!? I hadn't asked God about the boat...I just worried about convincing Trudy that we could afford the silly thing! I have to admit...we returned to the dock and I handed the key to my friend and reported that we were not buying the boat after all. Trudy never said no, was never argumentative, and if purchased she would have been supportive and all about making the best of having a great boat. She was...well...gracefully submissive. And we did amazingly fine without a boat in our garage! Husbands, if I could give you a tip...before you make a purchase or take off on any major decision...be willing to look deeply into the eyes of your wife and find a perspective you may otherwise miss.

A little over two years ago, we went on a cruise. It was our first and only cruise and we had a great time! Trudy felt well, went on four excursions (including snorkeling!), and thoroughly enjoyed the experience. Here's one of those Trudy "moments" that is imprinted in my memory. The last night of the cruise, we went all over the ship taking pictures at all the memorable spots. We were walking by the front area where they had a mermaid. Trudy wanted me to take a picture of her by the mermaid. I was perplexed, because the mermaid wasn't all that memorable and the silly thing was topless...not exactly Trudy's style. Well I got the camera out and prepared to take the shot and saw that Trudy had taken her jacket and draped it modestly around the mermaid and then she gave me a 1000 watt beaming smile! Cost of the cruise: a couple thousand dollars. Great time with Trudy and memories galore: priceless!!

About one year ago, we were driving home from a Sunday morning service, a day after a big storm had blown through. We happened to pass by the Forest Lawn Cemetery (now the place of her interment) when she noticed that a huge tree had fallen across the exit road of the cemetery. She exclaimed: "Oh, look! Now they're never going to get out of there!" Then she started laughing at her funny sense of humor and I started laughing, too. In fact, I thought I was going to have to stop the car because we were laughing so hard I could scarcely see through the tears. There is no more fun memory for me than Trudy getting tickled at herself. Nothing more certain in my heart and soul than the reality that Trudy is not trapped in a cemetery...or a cancer-stricken body...or in an ol' hospital. She is "Alive, Alive, Alive forever more!"

I need to be focused on that today. Six months ago today, I had, I suppose, my last conversation with Trudy. It was her birthday. She stayed awake a goodly time that day and responded to questions...she even tried her hand at writing a message to me on a marker-board. She was surrounded by our love in those precious wakeful moments. Many of you were there...in prayers and compassionate love...in the dozens upon dozens of birthday cards, emails, and guest book entries...and in gifts of platelets, plasma, and white blood cells. I can tell you that we, her family, appreciate your prayers. In fact, I think the effect of your prayers is as needful as ever right now.

Well, thanks for caring and thanks for praying. Next time: Brian's Big Day.

Blessings,
Robert