Hello Again Friends and Family,I do miss my girl! I'm not really sure what I'll be doing with this blog, but I feel that writing something weekly about our life together...our "love story" may be helpful in my process of grief and adjustment.
Since my last entry on Trudy's Blog (trudydaniel.blogspot.com), I have barely begun to experience life as a widower. Through today, and I'm sure for sometime to come, I find that times of grieving sweep over me at any time...sometimes most unexpectedly.
Trudy and I did many things together...in those areas, I grieve over the "aloneness" that I feel. I now sleep alone, eat alone, go to church alone, etc. Our eight year old grandson, Daniel; asked me this question: "Pops, what do you do when you're alone at your house?" Amazingly, I was composed as I answered: "I try to stay busy doing things around the house that Grandma would have done." Trudy and I also had a division of labor that I now am trying to find a way to consolidate into a new routine. I mowed the lawn, Trudy worked in the flower beds. I paid the bills, Trudy prepared our meals. I took out the garbage while Trudy kept everything in its proper place. Some things, we would team up to accomplish. I might vacuum the carpet while she mopped and scrubbed the floors. Mostly, we simply liked being in the company of the other, whether we were busy or relaxed. I shall miss that "comfort" level.
Today, I hoped to honor Trudy by replanting the areas of the garden in which she kept seasonal flowers. Katy picked up three flats of Impatients (pink and white) and dropped them off yesterday. This morning I enjoyed (which would no doubt surprise Trudy) getting down on hands and knees, digging in the dirt, and planting those delicate little flowers. I wept some...then I laughed some at the mixture of thoughts that activity prompted.
A positive activity for me was going back to work. Frankly, I don't feel fully "back." However, I have accomplished a measure of productivity...and getting stronger each day. I am starting tomorrow to resume the activity of visiting in the services of churches that I serve as Director of Missions. Next Sunday, I will preach for the first time since February 28th...and, yes, prayers will be appreciated. But work and staying busy around the house are helpful and positive.
Friends and family and associates have been absolutely great! Timely visits from people, cards too many to count, and other kind gestures have been almost overwhelming. I know too, that the prayers have been there for me as well. Thanks!
The funeral services for Trudy were perfect. My big brother, Paul, spoke so well of the faith that we have in the Lord and the love for Trudy that we all feel. Kirk was "right-on" with the testimonials from various friends, associates, and family as he placed those personal remarks into a perspective of the fact that Trudy's life truly mattered and impacted so many of us in enduring ways. Kirk related written words from the following special people from Trudy's life: Bonnie Branim contributed some comments about the ways that Trudy valued her friendships. Kim Bennett wrote a tribute reflecting the many people who worked with Trudy as professional educators at Tioga High School, and were encouraged to better themselves simply by observing the total dedication that Trudy brought to the classroom. Katy Benoit Price, related insights into Trudy's life that only a close, close sister would have the privilege of experiencing. Lastly, Wendy shared the incredibly wondrous privilege that she and Brian shared in having Trudy as their mother. Then, the next speaker, Charles Hutzler, the man of God who has been our pastor in several stages of our life together brought a timely sermon using Trudy's Scripture passage from 2 Corinthians, Chapter four. In so doing, he managed to incorporate a few entries that exposed some insights that I shared in Trudy's Blog in the days preceding Trudy's death. Bro. Hutzler helped us remember that in Trudy we...all of us...have experienced the mighty hand of God. For God truly blessed me with the perfect mate...the perfect wife...the perfect compliment...the most perfect marriage any two could experience.
Lastly, let me conclude this exceedingly long epistle by thanking the church families that we have been privileged to serve and who have been so supportive during these days. Alpine First Baptist Church...thank you for opening up your facilities to our family and friends for Trudy's funeral. First Baptist Church in Montgomery...thank you for providing some very special and very needed help to our family. Twin Bridges Baptist Church...thank you for your help, your prayers, and your presence. Bethel Baptist Church...thank you for surrounding us with love, for locking your arms in ours during this entire journey. To the churches that I now serve as Director of Missions, some ninety-eight of you...thank you for your generosity. You gave me an indescribable gift in granting to me and Trudy the precious time off that allowed me to be with her every sacred moment. And you were generous in many other gifts, cards, and prayers. To the hundreds who surrounded us with love at the funeral and visitation...thank you for love immeasurable. To the blog guests including the one's whose identity I may never know this side of heaven...thank you for a bombardment of prayers the likes of which were unique and powerful beyond anything I've ever known.
Blessings,
Robert
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